Sooooo tired

I'm so tired of being in the theater. Weird, right? For me it is, anyway. But there's only so much you can do when you're sitting back there in the dark and unfortunately the library only had one book on astrology so I can't really do much reading about it. Maybe I'll try and risk having my computer back there this evening. Today's tech was better than yesterday's for me but I think that's because it was worse for everyone else and so they couldn't worry about me. We actually had an alright tech, we only did the 2nd act and there wasn't much to do, but then we had a dress rehearsal. Now, I can't say how it went one way or the other because the set is built with an actual wall separating backstage and onstage and I never get to see anything going on ever, but from what I understand, it's kind of a shit show. The music sounds great for the most part, but there's flubbed lines and choreography and everyone is just generally in a bad mood which makes it that much more difficult to get things done. Also, everyone is pretty exhausted from doing all these changeovers and performances and rehearsals, but we only have one more day of it until we open. And then life will be WAY calmer.

My friend Joe is visiting me tomorrow for lunch. I feel badly that I have virtually no time to spend with him but unfortunately his road trip schedule is timed as such that this week is his only time in Denver. No matter, it'll be great to see a familiar face I'm sure.

I got a package from my roommate Dani today. I had asked her to send me my book of jazz standards so that I could offer my talents away as an auction item in the cabaret (I'm too tired to get into the cabaret info right now, I'll bring it up once Shook is open) and the video of Brigadoon when I was in it as a nine-year-old. It's not a very good recording but you can see little Lauren a few times. I only watched one scene with my roommate here but I think I'm gonna save the rest for a few weeks and maybe some other people would enjoy seeing it too. Dani also included a candle and some smelling oil sticks or whatever which were much needed cause our room smells like beef jerky and nair. She also included a Tide stick which I'm pretty sure was to make light of my laundry fiasco. I miss Dani very very very much!

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately. I know the four people who run this place (the two directors who happen to be partners, the company manager and the executive manager who happen to be married) do not care for me much. Everyone else in the company (actors, designers, technicians) all do like me, but I wouldn't call any of them friends really. I like working with them all, but for some reason I don't feel like anyone has truly opened up to me as a friend and I'm not sure if it's me or if it's them. I don't much care, really, I'm not upset or anything and I don't feel lonely out here. I just know that even at my shit job last summer I REALLY enjoyed my time with the people. I looked forward to the time when a show was over when we would all sit around and drink or what not but here I just grab a beer and watch LOST or something. I guess that's not fair, sometimes I hang with people and there's plenty of times when everyone all hangs out, but I wouldn't say that there are any few people I feel much closer to than the rest. We do have two more months and I suppose things could change, but I won't be upset if they don't. I still like everyone very much and am sure that when we have lots of free time that maybe I'll have more opportunities connect with folks.

Things to do with my free time when I have it.

• Clean the props loft
• Clean my room
• Jog/Various other workout related things
• Hang at the pool that was opened for company members only
• Tan
• Watch LOST
• Play Guitar
• Sleep
• Read

That's honestly about all I can think of. It's not like I can go anywhere cause I don't have a car and there's no place to go. I'm sure there are books that I should have read a long time ago. One of my summer goals was going to be read plays I've never read before, so I guess I could do that. My main thing is going to be to try not to spend money in this town. We shall see. Love you all!