Er, I don't think I'm in Colorado anymore...

(Please excuse me, I'm not much of a writer. And I made an 8 hour drive at 2am this morning so I need a nap. But this first.)

I'm on the phone with my parents staring at my car. They are trying SO HARD to find things for me to be positive about.

"Is it pretty? How is the house you're living in? Are you taking pictures?"

"There's nothing to take pictures of. Not within walking distance. I'd have to drive"

I'll have to drive everywhere. EVERYWHERE. These f***ing mountains, it's impossible to WALK anyplace because it's a mile UPHILL to get to the theater or anywhere from the institution ski lodge I'm staying in. And I'm going to spend half my paycheck on gas. Why oh why did I sign this contract?

I'm still staring at the car.

"I can't let it go. Everything is fine, it's all just fine, but I can't get past this gas thing and it's making everything else miserable."

2 months ago I signed a contract to work as the Company Manager/Stage Manager/Whatever for a small Shakespeare company in New Hampshire, smack dab in the mountains. I took a step down from the places I've been working to come here. It's maybe the least professional company (by union standards) I've ever worked for. I wanted to step out of my stage manager role and give something else a try, spread my wings.

And when I read in my contract that I would need to bring my car, I didn't give it a second thought. It is standard in theater that the company manager has a car that they use to drive company members around in. It is also standard for the company to reimburse their company manager for the gas they use. I did not find out until after I signed the contract that they would not be reimbursing me for gas. I am being used.

So I came to New Hampshire. And I had a bad attitude. As one would have when they feel they are being used. And it was all I could think of and I made myself miserable for weeks prior to coming all over this stupid gas thing.

After I got off the phone with my parents, I woke up the director and told him we needed to leave in order to make it to dinner in time. We were invited to dinner by the Artistic Director. And as we were driving, I looked at the mountains.

They are kind of pretty. Really pretty, actually, majestic almost. Not the Rockies, but pretty. I like how the mountains look when the day is ending and the peaks are throwing shadows over the forests. And when you're driving through the mountains in New Hampshire, you pass lakes and streams and a few other interesting sights that are all the more incredible when it's seen in a fleeting moment as you speed around the curve. I didn't get to drive in the Rockies. But now I'm driving through mountains, and look at this road! All the turns and bends and ups and downs. I never drive like this in the city. I never drive like this, period. I like driving like this.

And I will remind myself of that every time I have to drive somewhere this summer. Every time I have to shell out my earnings at the pump, I will remind myself to stop bitching and just try to enjoy the ride. Cause it's a beautiful ride and all the bulls*** is just bumps in the road. It's not so bad. (insert half a dozen bad things I'm not supposed to talk about according to my contract) Well, not SO bad.

RONEN IS GONE!!!!

I'm starting this post at 2:31 AM MST. A zillion amazing things have happened in the past 3 days and I would wait until I'm bored at the airport to write about them all, but I just said goodbye to Ronen and so the idea of starting to clean the bathroom now or attempt to go to sleep would just be stupid because I'm too sentimental. So here I am writing my blog on the bathroom floor so the light doesn't bother anyone else. Let's just jump right in where we left off, shall we?

Chapter 8 - The Jazz
As I mentioned earlier in the summer, I was asked to be involved in one of the items auctioned off after the cabaret. This item was to have live jazz at an event and I was one of four singers along with 3 band members. The winning bid was $13,000 and the people who won were actually a group of people, mostly members of the board, who had a party solely to have us perform. Now, I've mentioned before that the people who live in Grand Lake are pretty well off, but I really really need to mention it again because, honestly, this kind of lifestyle is incredible and The Jazz performance really brought to my attention how freakin lucky I've been this summer to be treated the way I have. SOOO MANY open bars and full meals and parties on the lake with boat rides and the works all amounted to this day. It was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY we have had this entire summer. It was 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. We were in someones backyard who had a private boat dock where the technical equipment was set up. Behind us were boats in the lake and there was food for us and wine and ALL the important people in town who have come to be like our own parents and grand-parents were there. Well let me tell you that I was NERVOUS! I mean, we only rehearsed our songs one time and it's not like I perform all the time these days. It's kind of rare for me to perform now and this was a pretty big deal gig. And you know what? I rocked. I'm sorry, but I sounded damn great up there. I first got to the mic and gave my little intro which was something to the effect of, "I actually didn't come here to sweep or mop any floors or run any fog machines or call the actors to places, I came here to sing so thank you so much for having me on this lovely day!" My first song was The Way You Look Tonight which I sang as a ballad in a REAL low key and pretty slow, but I worked the hell out of it and had a lot of fun. My second song was East of the Sun and West of the Moon which was also a lot of fun. After we had all performed we had the opportunity to mill about with all the guests and it was so great hearing the compliments from people. One woman was even in tears saying how fantastic it was that I am so multi-talented and it's touching that someone with such talent in performing could work backstage just to make theater happen. I was very humbled and really it was just such a NICE event for the last few days here.

Chapter 9 - Closing Pirates
There's really very very little to say here. I really didn't ever do anything for pirates except carry a wooden pirate ship across the stage and throw balls of black tape at someone. But Pirates was my favorite of the three shows because the talent in this cast is incredible and they sang it so well. I'll miss having such a relaxed job on a show.

Chapter 10 - The Great Scavenger Hunt of '09
So after Pirates we had a scavenger hunt. Let me tell you, I don't think I have consumed that many different types of hard liquor in one night in my entire life. A lot of the things on the list were things to be done in bars or involving alcohol. I'm actually going to keep most of the details of what went on that night to myself, but I will say that I had a great time and it MAY have involved skinny dipping in Grand Lake. =P

Chapter 11 - Closing All Shook Up...what a night!!!
I've mentioned a few times, I think, that we have been raising money all summer to build a new theater. I really downplayed that fact in this blog because the Raise the Curtain campaign was kind of a huge freaking deal all summer long. Everything we did was to raise $4 million for the first phase of the building project. Phase 1 includes the actual building of the new theater and all summer they've been showing blue-prints and what not promising huge and incredible things if we could just raise the money. This entire summer I've felt kind of like we were being whored out to raise money for them. However, during the curtain speech for our final performance of our last show, it was announced that we had raised the money. I cried. It was so beautiful how...gosh, I'm having trouble finding words for it even now because I'm getting choked up! It's just so incredible that this town and this community and these people care about this theater thing so much. It's not like this anywhere and I just feel so so blessed to have been able to not only bear witness to such generosity and commitment but to have also made a direct impact on it. WE were the season that raised $4 million! That's...oh, it's just so much and as many rough times as I had working for these people, I'm so proud to have been a part of this company this year. I don't regret my decision to come out here in the slightest.

There had been a rumor going around that Tim Allen was coming to the final show. A rumor, mind you, but it seemed plausible because Grand Lake is such an expensive place to live and it is true that Tim Allen owns a house around here. So I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised when everybody came backstage after the first number FREAKING OUT because they really did see him in the audience. I was kind of bummed, though, because I'd forgotten to put my contacts in that evening so I couldn't really see him at all through the small crack in the curtains that hide the backstage. I figured at the time, "Whatever, it's cool he's here and I know what he looks like."

The show was great. I cried at the end of the first act when they all sang I Can't Help Falling in Love with You because it was, in my opinion, the best song of the summer and so moving. Cat and I had a pretty radical dance party at the end of the show backstage. And after the bows were finished and the cast had gone outside to get their congratulations from everyone, I slipped out to just in front of the curtain where the side entrance is so I could watch the band play one last time. Next thing I know, Tim Allen is standing right in front of me because he was sneaking out before the hustle and bustle. He touches me on the shoulder and says "Tell everybody I had a really great time this evening." And that's how I met Tim Allen!

Okay, but for real it's 3AM and I have to clean the bathroom for a 7:30 AM checkout. More to come from the airport!

I could write a book

Alright!! Lots going on, but here is your blog. Finally! (PS - I'm going to wait until I'm sitting in the airport to go on facebook and steal pictures from people, but when I do I'll be posting them on shutterfly) There's a lot to talk about, so please multiply each chapter in awesome points by about 100 because it loses some enthusiasm and awe when I try and write about so much. I've really been having a fantastic last few days here.

Chapter 1 - My hike
Sunday was a big day. I woke up at around 7:30 to meet Mark, the bagpipe player from Brigadoon who also happens to be a park ranger, for a hike on the East Inlet trail. I had really hoped I'd get the opportunity to climb Baldy this summer (Baldy is the most unique looking mountain around here and kind of the sentimental one to the people in town) but it would have been a huge endeavor and it give me a reason to come back. Anyway, it was a really refreshing journey. Nothing stupendous to see but I did get a MUCH closer look at Baldy which was neat because I could look all the way to where I usually see Baldy from and it was like the view that I've had this entire summer was backwards. Mark was a decent hiking partner too. He gave me a neat (fake) tattoo from a bagpipe band that he's into.

Chapter 2 - Steamboat Springs
I sorta rushed Mark to get us back home because I was FINALLY able to work out a plan to meet with my mother's cousin, Andrea, and spend a night in Steamboat. It's truly a shame that it took this long to get the opportunity and I wish I could have had more time because it was SO FUN! First off, Andrea is fantastic as is Steve. We got to talk about family and what not the entire ride there and then we spent the night pub-crawling to all their favorite places. It was really nice to get out of this tiny town and actually see things like, oh I don't know, buses? Haha, it was as if I was trying to ease my way back into city living. I will say I got kinda fed up with hearing "Hide your beagle, Vick's an Eagle!" all night, but we'll let it go. =P Anyway, I got to sleep in a real house with a real bed and a TV in the room even! It's the little things, you know? After a fantastic nights worth of sleep, I got to explore Steamboat on my own for a little while before having to ride back with Steve to Grand Lake in time for changeover. So Baldy and also Andrea are TWO reasons why I have to come back here.

Chapter 3 - The Freedom Band plays at The Lariat
So some of the people in the company have grooved out together over the summer playing real folksy type music. They call themselves The Freedom Band and they're really really excellent. They performed at the cabaret and even recorded a cd together I believe. Anyway, one of the bars that we often go to in town, The Lariat, agreed to have the band play there on Monday night. It was so much fun! I drank more than I usually can and the whole company was out enjoying the show. It was neat to get out of the theater but still all hang out together.

Chapter 4 - Final Evening Changeover/Slumber Party at Marks
Not much to say about the final evening changeover. I find it really incredible how many times I did such hard manual labor right after shows this summer. I mean, I did evening changeovers at PSF last summer, but not to this scale. These were HUGE set pieces and very heavy and often times I was responsible for bringing down some of the heaviest things because I was too short to carry large lighter pieces. So I'm pretty damn proud of myself for getting through the summer this way (and pretty ripped if I may say so). Cat bought the 10 of us beers afterwards and we all drank together in the theater.

After that, I went to one of the company member's friend's cabin which they'd loaned him for when they were away. We had a slumber party complete with video games, board games, food and beds. It was really cute.

Chapter 5 - Cleaning the bathroom
OH EM GEE. I worked on the bathroom for, like, 4 hours yesterday. It's definitely way cleaner than it was when we got here. I can't believe I didn't pass out from toxic fumes. Seriously, 4 HOURS.

Chapter 6 - FINAL BRIGADOON
It feels like just yesterday when I was freaking out trying to find plastic bottles and fake heather for this damn show. It feels weird now that it's over. The final show went really well...okay no. The first act did. Act 2 was kind of a shit show if you'll excuse my language. People messed up lines, choreography, songs, the works, but it wasn't too bad in all honesty. I ran the fog machines for the last time this summer and thank goodness for that because I'm so over them. Brigadoon had the most and the youngest kids as guest artists and it was sad seeing them so sad about closing a show. I don't know if it's that there are still two more closings or if I just didn't love the show as much as others I've done or if I've just been doing this for so long that the sentimental value doesn't hit me as hard anymore, but I didn't cry or anything. I suppose I'll miss it in a way, but probably not much.

Chapter 7 - Striking Brigadoon
There's really not much to say about this. We tore Brigadoon apart today. I cleaned the props loft weeks ago so I didn't have to work on that much. I cleaned up a little backstage but I'll have to work at it a lot more on Sunday when all the shows are finished.

Okay, I'm definitely losing steam here so I'm going to save The Jazz for tomorrow. Take care! 3 more days!

I'M SO SORRY!!!

I really do apologize, everybody. I DID write out another post that night but I suppose the internet backstage gave out before I got it on the website. I really will update very soon, I have to tell you all about my trip to Steamboat Springs! but things are REALLY hectic now because we're in our final days. I'm currently 25 mins from starting the last performance of Brigadoon for the summer so I don't really have the attention span to give you an in depth post before I have to give my next time call to the actors, but the next post will be about my trip to Steamboat, my hike with the bagpipe player, closing this show, the Freedom Band performance at a local bar and anything else I can think of. So close to coming home!!!

Packing sucks

I'm gonna do a real post tonight during the show. Heads up.

Biebs and the Bear: A Story About G-d

Haha, that title is kinda ridiculous, but I worked really hard on it so don't judge.

Two days ago I woke up earlier than usual with the intention of taking my usual hike to the pool. I've never been very specific as to how I get to the pool so let me break it down for yall. Usually people drive up to the lodge and it's about a 5 minute drive. Because I don't have a car but I don't feel like waiting around for them (particularly because they don't get up till 1 when the clouds are already coming out) I hike there. The Tonahutu Trail goes for maybe half a mile before there is a turn off with some overgrown path that leads to the shut down lodge. It's sort of a roundabout way of getting to the pool because it actually takes you in the opposite direction first, but I enjoy being outside anyway and it's good exercise and only takes about an hour.

So it's 9:00 AM in the morning when I reached the trailhead for the Tonahutu Trail and I start thinking, "I have my whole day ahead of me and who really cares if I get a tan? Should I maybe just stay on this trail for the whole 4 miles and try and make it to Granite Falls?" I didn't have my camera or my phone on me and I was a little afraid that I would be disappointed if I spent my day going out there and seeing this beautiful thing just to forget it the next day. On the other hand, I want to pack in as many experiences as possible while I'm out here and I didn't want to regret spending a day at the pool when I could have gone exploring. I decided that I would stay on the trail and that I alone would notice if my tan doesn't make me look like a golden goddess when I go home.

About 2 minutes after I made my decision that I would pass the turn off for the lodge and keep going on the trail, I heard a rustling sound. No, lie. I heard branches breaking. It sounded larger than the tiny scurrying animals I usually hear when I'm on the trail. An elk? Maybe even a moose? The cracking branches sounded more like a person was messing around off the track so I glanced over to my right. And there it was. About 25 feet away from me through the few trees the beetles haven't killed off I saw a black bear. He wasn't enormous, not quite as big as a moose. Or maybe he was, I'm not really sure, because the moment I realized what I was looking at was also the moment my brain went, "Well ef me if this bear sees you because you don't have your phone and you're effed." Granted I always tell people (Cat specifically because she's an out doorsy person) when I go on my walks through the woods, and this particular trail isn't very far from humanity, but I also realized at this moment that I never want to be without my cell phone again. Actually, I wasn't nearly as panicked now as the time when I saw the four moose. Moose are about 10 times more likely to attack someone than a bear is. The bears really don't care about you at all. I think the reason I was startled as I was was because I'd never really expected to see a bear while I was out here and especially not while I was hiking. Many residents of the town have been telling us all summer that they've lived here for many years and never even seen one bear and the ones who have seen them where when the bears were looking through dumpsters for food. This bear was out in the daytime looking for whatever in the woods and I was there too. How incredibly lucky I was to witness this! Of course, that didn't cross my mind until a little bit later.

So anyway, I see the bear and remember that the advice we were given for coming across a bear in the woods is to make yourself seem as large as possible. It never really crossed my mind until this point how freaking stupid that would make me feel. I was pretty certain the bear had zero interest in me because it hadn't stopped at all, it just kept walking parallel to the trail I was on in the direction from where I was coming from. I decided not to draw any more attention to myself by yelling or anything, but I stuck my arms out to my sides and hoped that the sweatshirt I was wearing made me large enough. About 10 seconds later I was very surprised to see 2 boys about my age coming in my direction on the trail. I excitedly told them I had just seen a bear and pointed it out to them. Having passed the view on to someone else, I hightailed it passed them and continued on the trail. Needless to say I felt fulfilled enough to skip out on the full hiking excursion and did go to the pool instead where I spent a lovely few hours listening to 2 15 year olds talk about getting drunk. One other cool thing, though, is that when I reached the pool and opened the gate there was a snake lying across the cement. I haven't really been able to figure out what it was but my BEST guess at this point is that it was young western terrestrial garter snake.

Here's the G-d part. I always wanted to believe that there was more reason for my coming out here to work than just the money and the job. I know there were many reasons I could use like getting away from the city or trying to be independent from my friends for the summer, but I don't think I whole-heartedly believed that any of those were special reasons for coming out here. I think the reason I did decide to come out here really was only because it was the only theater job I found. How sad it would have been if I left here feeling the same way because the truth of the matter is I didn't LOVE this job. Don't get me wrong, I am proud of the work that I've done and it's not everyday you find work where you don't have to come in until the day is over, but the people I worked for bummed me out and the rest of the company was just very negative at the time. However, the bear experience, along with many other experiences I've had out here, has given me reason to wonder if maybe there WAS another reason for me coming out here. I'm learning that I really really really enjoy being out in the wilderness, climbing these mountains and seeing these things, and maybe when I graduate I don't have to jump right into the theater world. Maybe I want to be a trailguide. Maybe I want to travel and go backpacking across Europe. I don't know. What I can say is that I'm so very very thankful to have had these experiences while I'm out here. I don't know where I stand on all my religious beliefs and I'm even less certain about how I feel about the concept of there being a G-d who hears us and what not, but I must say I feel a little blessed to have had such a unique experience that many locals have not even had. So I thanked G-d that day. And it didn't feel silly. It felt very fulfilling.

As promised, I've stolen a few pictures from our hike up to Sky Pond and put them in this post. I will be stealing more pictures and putting them on my shutterfly at some point, but for now I hope these will do.

Staff Cabaret, Sky Pond, and maybe some more...maybe

Okay, I MUST say this before I say anything else at all because I have been trying to figure out for 2 months how to fit it into a blog post and I just haven't been able to. I love the dogs out here. I am by no means a dog person, but everyone in town has these HUGE dogs that they keep in their stores and walk down the street with. I'm talking about untrimmed mountain dogs, not these stupid little hypoallergenic dogs they've got in Philly. I'm really going to miss the dogs out here.

Onward with the real post. Saturday night after Brigadoon was another "After the Show" cabaret concert featuring the artistic staff - aka the people who don't like me, I mean, my bosses. It was actually a nice evening with some of my favorite songs being performed. However, the whole thing made me a bit angry. All of the artistic staff have been a part of RMRT for many years now and in between songs they would tell stories about their experiences with this company. The reason it made me angry was that they spoke about these life-changing times with each other and how they have such good memories singing around the campfire with the staff before them and so forth and I thought, why have they disconnected themselves from us? Why don't THEY come and sing with us or treat us well or so forth? They said we're the best company they've had in years, so why do they treat everyone like shit? Granted I get a lot more crap from them than many of the other company members, but there's a general feeling from everyone that we're treated like children. They tell us all the time that we should be thankful to everyone in town for all they do for us and we are! We don't need to be reminded of common courtesy and so forth. It's just frustrating hearing them talk about this beautiful thing when I don't believe it's all there. I think in past years the company bonded together much more than we have this year and I blame the people in charge for festering a sense of wrong-doing on all of our parts. Phew, I didn't word that as well as my feelings are about the topic, but it doesn't really matter. I'm done bitching.

I don't consider myself a very physically active/fit person but I've been trying to challenge myself while I'm out here. I'm really happy about it because it's given me a few experiences that make me believe I may actually miss this place. See, I don't want to go home regretting not making the best of my situation while I'm out here. What is my situation? Well, I'm working at a theater where I usually don't go into work until 7 at night and it's smack dab in the Rocky Mountains. If there was ever a time to pick up the hobby of going hiking it would be now. So yesterday I climbed a mountain to a place called Sky Pond. And despite whatever ill feelings I have toward the people I work with, I must say that it did, in fact, change my life. Just a little bit, but it was really a remarkable experience.

I went with Cat, Ronen and Kent's friend Jack. Jack spent 3 years in the army and I was worried that I would be a wreck on this trip but I did really really well for myself. Particularly considering that I've made myself sick once again. Bad cough. We woke up way early and left Grand Lake at 7:20AM (we were supposed to leave at 7 but we spent 10 minutes pounding on Ronen's door and then had to turn around once we'd left him and he called us saying his alarm hadn't gone off). Cat drove us on the scenic highway that goes to Estes Park and we parked in a lot near the trailhead and took a shuttle to where the trail starts at 9,240 feet. This particular trail had many different stops along the way and got progressively more difficult as we went on. The first section of the trail took us to Alberta Falls which were perhaps the most beautiful waterfalls I've seen since I've been out here. At this point there were still lots of kids and families on the trails.

We continued up and were able to behold the most beautiful view that overlooked the Rocky landscape. This is where we had our first major photo op and where I smashed my knee into a rock trying to get on top for a picture. I had to climb the whole damn mountain in pain but it was totally worth it. The going was still pretty easy at this point.

We kept going and we reached these meadows that were filled with colorful flowers. Running water flowed past us the entire trail. It was kind of like a movie, in all honesty. I knew places like this existed but definitely not in Pennsylvania. It was so neat seeing all the green meadows even at however many feet up. I kept my eyes out for eagles the whole time because I'd really like to see more before I leave here but unfortunately eagles don't come out on Sundays.

Right after we passed our first patch of snow we reached The Loch, a HUGE lake that looked like it would be a lot of fun to swim in were it not so freaking cold. The trail split in two here and you could go around to the other side to get a different view of the lake. Jack and I went to one side to get a picture of Ronen and Cat from across the lake and they did the same. Did I mention that part of my drive to get out and hike is to fill my vain desires to get pictures of myself in cool places? In the distance we could see The Continental Divide.

We walked and walked and walked. The trail had been getting increasingly steeper/narrower/rockier as we walked to this point, but when we reached the next waterfall, Timberline Falls, we were surprised to see that we would have to climb up these very steep stone steps to keep going. We climbed the steps to get closer to the falling water and it was breathtaking. Huge boulders sat at the base of the waterfall and you could get to them by stepping on smaller rocks which of course we had to do to take pictures. After that photo op was finished, we went back to the trail and were surprised once again to find that the steps hadn't even been the most complicated part of the trail to Sky Pond. The trail actually stopped being so much a trail and more of a rock climbing excursion THROUGH the running water! It wasn't like a billion feet up or anything, but I've definitely never done anything like this before. It reminded me of being at Camp Harlam and climbing the rock wall only with real rocks and water. It was so much fun!

We reached the top and I managed NOT get blown over by the wind which was so strong we had to shout to hear each other. It was also freezing cold up here. It was also one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. Climbing over the last ledge we beheld another lake more splendid than anything we'd seen on the trail before. Sky Pond. It was incredible. You could look across the lake and once again see all the mountains in the distance. I'm a little bit sad that I forgot to make a stone pile because I wanted to leave my mark, but cest la vie.

We sat down and had lunch. After we were finished, I turned to Cat and yelled that I wondered how far the trail kept going because I'd seen some people continue past us. We looked at the map and realized that we were wrong and hadn't even reached Sky Pond yet. This was the Lake of Glass. Ronen confessed that he'd had an inkling there was more to go because he'd seen two lakes on the map, but he didn't want to keep climbing up waterfalls. Lucky for him the rest of the trail was nothing like what we had been on climbing up to the Lake of Glass. It was just a straight trail with a very slight incline. It was interesting because at this point I believe we'd passed the line where trees are still able to grow. There were still shrubs and flowers. It was funny to see all the greenery up there with the snow.

We made it to Sky Pond where we could look across and see this enormous glacier. This place was WAY less windy and it was very quiet. Mostly because the people who'd actually made it to this point were too exhausted to talk but also because of the lack of wind. We stayed for a few minutes to take our final round of pictures before we turned around to go back down. The way down wasn't too bad. My knee was really killing me at this point, but at least we were going down hill.

The four of us got the most fantastic Indian food in Estes Park for an early dinner and sat around talking for a few hours. I also bought myself a Baha, one of those hippie sweaters that I've wanted for years but never wanted to spend the money on. It was only like $18! After that we drove back to Grand Lake admiring the stars along the way. I'll be stealing pictures from Cat and Ronen shortly and will post them on biebs.shutterfly.com asap (Actually, I'm currently sitting backstage during a performance of Brigadoon, but I'll put at least a few pics from Cat's facebook album in this post when I get back to my cabin).

I mentioned that I'm sick again. I know that it's stress about leaving in 2 weeks. It's not because I'm happy about leaving and it's not because I'm sad about leaving. I'm still sorting out whether or not I'll be more happy or sad to go. There are so many things that make me unhappy out here like the stress of my job and the negativity in people, but I don't hate my job. In fact, it's really a pretty swell gig I've got going here. And it's beautiful and I'm doing things I've never done before that are making me a healthier person in the long run. I think I'm sick because it's change and I always react oddly to change. I must say that I'm REALLY looking forward to finally seeing my friends and family and roommate again. Speaking of which, I got a package from her today! Funny story, she and my grandmother both sent me the same exact Emerald Green nail polish.

I bought a new navel ring today and when I was trying to put it in I dropped part of it down the sink in the women's dressing room. In my frustration trying to get it out of the drain I slammed my hand against the pipe which shattered the ring on my index finger. Sad story, but I managed to get the other one out of the drain at least. This time in two weeks I'll be landing in Philly airport!