Do not fret for me!

Hello everyone. I'm sorry if my last post was a bit morbid and upsetting. I did a fantastic job of freaking out my parents and recieved a concerned letter from my father this afternoon asking if I was alright. I thought I would share with you my response to him because it'll probably put you all at some ease if you are worried too.

LAUREN M BIEBER to Ken

They're not gonna fire me, I haven't messed up that bad, it's just little things that I take personally which you absolutely cannot do in theater. I know that from my experience at Temple and I know that it's something I need to work on in general, it's just that no one is holding my hand here like they do at school, so I suppose that all this can be taken as a learning experience for me. It's hard when someone says, "Well, just do your best" and you do your best and it doesn't seem good enough cause then you second guess yourself and say "Well, was that really my best? Either it was and I'm just not cut out for this or it wasn't and I'm not doing my job." But again, that's me taking things WAY too personally and the fact of the matter is for this kind of position I'm not doing too horribly. This isn't my forte, you know? I'm a stage manager and this job is a bit unique in a lot of senses and I'm not doing what I'm best at. But I'm making things happen and there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just very stressful getting everything done on a time crunch like this, but once the shows are up things will change and I think I'll really come into my own. Thank you for caring and I'm sorry if I'm worrying you both, please don't be. I'm working really hard and that's all there is to it, but I knew that things would be like this sometimes when I decided to pursue theater as a profession. I have to toughen up and it's a long process but even me coming out here and accepting this job is a step in the right direction.

They haven't told me how much money the damage is going to be for replacing everything, but I apologized to the musicians and they all said that I shouldn't worry so much, it's just clothes. Elisa, the wardrobe manager, is speaking to me again so that's fine, and as far as the company forgiving me I did a super job making sure everyone was quiet while we changed over the set last night while a town hall meeting was going on and the board members of the town were very impressed so the company is not hating me right now. I don't think the money I owe them is at the top of their priority list right now, but I'll let you know as soon as I get info.
~Laur